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Showing posts with the label Ban Dariya (Jokes)

YORUBA PEOPLE

YORUBAAAAAAAAYoruba people can't correct someone without adding insult as a suffix. (1) do it like this, ode. (2) press the red button, oponu. (3) hold it for me, didirin! (4) you can't greet person, alaileko. (5) give it to your brother, agbaya. (6) Go and take your bath, obun. (7) Go and do your assignment, Olodo. (8) you better wake up, oloorun iya. (9) Yago lona funmi joor, arindin. (10) iwo ni moun pe......aditi. (11) where are you coming from, onirin kuri? (12) Stop writing on the wall, Baseje! (13) you forgot what I just told you now, alakogbagbe. (14) So the one you ate is not enough, oloun je iya. (15) who put your mouth there, saliu elenu gboro? (16) Is that where I asked you to put it, abunu. (17) I know you are laughing now..... oni yeye. (18) Shaa forward it to others, amebo. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. Don't laugh alone put a smile on someone's face by SHARING to them. okay ooo Pass it to everyone in Messenger and see hw much they love u ๐Ÿ˜ญ0%... ๐Ÿ˜ช10%... ๐Ÿ˜20%... ๐Ÿ˜”30%... ๐Ÿ˜›40%... ๐Ÿ˜ƒ50%... ๐Ÿ˜ฎ60%…

IDAN KE CE YAYA ZA KI YI?

CIDAN KECE YA XAKIYI ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐ŸคฃWata yarinya take Soyayya da wani a facebook basu damu dasuyi waya sai chat har sukayi alkawarin aure amma ita tace baxata xauna da kishiya ba sai yace kada ta samu ana shafa fatiha xai saketa dama ya gaji da kaxantarta sukayi xasu hadu a gidan kawarta da axahar da safe tun wajen 12pm tacewa babanta ita makaranta xataje shima yace xaije wajen daurin auren abokinsa dan ko wurin aiki baxa shiba (gareni) tana xuwa bata jima yakirata da wata murya kamar ta jarirai yace mata yaxo tana fita taganshi ajikin wata bakar jeep ya juya baya da shaddarsa brown sai maiko take tace aminci Allah ya tabbata a gareka ya juyo a hankali sukayi ido hudu tace innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un ....na shiga uku abba! Daman kaine my special one din......special one din ubanki ina Makarantar uban wa yabaki waya ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃidan Kece ya xakiyi ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚kut melesi

Raha

LAUGH AWAY YOUR SORROW

A baby was born and minutes after he began to speak: "I am going to live for only 4 days, my Mother will die in 6 days and my Father will die in 15 days."
 4 days later the boy died, after 6 days the Mother died. The Father was going crazy coz the next one will be him. He sold everything and spent the whole money. 15 days later their gateman died. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ 
Do not rush in solving problems.. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚.
 *The question is who was the real father?* 
Enjoy the rest of your day  ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃput smile on somebody ๐Ÿ˜. Pls remain safe

SMS FROM AKPORS

SMS Message
There was a girl Akpos really loved but he never had the guts to tell her how much he loves her. One night, at around 11pm, he summoned some courage and sent her an sms message saying, "I love you so much, I wanna date you. Please reply and tell me how you feel about me." A few seconds later he received a message alert on his phone. He was so scared and too tensed to open it that night, so he decided not to check the reply until the next morning when he will be less tensed. When he woke up the next day, he said his prayers, did his morning chores, brushed his teeth, ate his breakfast, took his bath and combed his hair, then jumped back to his bed and gently picked up his phone to read the message. So he started reading:"Dear customer you have insufficient balance to complete your request. kindly recharge your account and try again. Thank you." ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

GIRLS BEWARE

Your man tells you he is not planning on having kids or getting married anytime soon as he is still sorting out his life... He tells you he wants to have his second degree, a proper house and a bigger car first.... You sit there smiling with just a birth certificate thinking you'll be the wife? With the little he has, you ask for Brazilian hair and Mary K products.. He goes to work and goes straight to class after work... He leaves you in pyjamas and comes back to finds you inthe same pyjamas... While he studies you watch all the Telemundo, Telenovelas, Africa Magic, Zee World, B4U, etc on Gotv, Dstv, etc. He comes back home to find rice and chicken in the microwave everyday... The house is clean and his clothes ironed... The only serious conversation you all have is about the type of groceries you guys need. The only advice you give him is "babe you need to buy new socks, the ones you bought last time are torn" nothing intelligent comes out of your mouth... No plans of …

IF SCHOOL RESUMES...

```If school resume, Students are in trouble,Come see Assignments ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ

* English teacher: Write an essay on Corona virus
 *Maths teacher: if corona virus is COVID-19 then find the probability COVID-18 and COVID-20 are both viruses. . 
* Biology teacher: Define Corona Virus and state two ways of avoiding it.
* Social Studies: According to NTA "National Television Authority" Corona virus originated from__________
* Chemistry teacher: What is the empirical formula for Corona virus. Write the chemical formula forge reaction of COVID-19 with 5G
* Agric teacher: How did you manage to eat during the lockdown against spread of Corona Virus? 
* Physics teacher: If Corona virus pandemic broke out in 2020 then what is the atomic mass lost from COVID-20 to describe it as COVID-19? 
 *Fine art teacher : draw corona virus in your drawing book 
 *Music teacher : How many people composed music using corona virus and what were the keys and time signatures
 *Literature teacher: …

FUNNY WIFE

๐Ÿคฃ๐ŸคฃFUNNY WIFE๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ'A husband was about to break his fast in Ramadan. His wife was in the kitchen preparing food, he sat on the prayer mat to make dua before iftar. His wife was listening to him. The husband has a friend who needs a wife and he says "O Allah , get my friend married." His wife says "Be careful Zawj with your words , this is the time duas are answered." The husband paused and then said "O Allah grant my friend a young beautiful pious wife." Upon hearing this the wife ran out of the kitchen and hit him in the back of the head with the rolling pin. The husband shouted "What's wrong with you I'm only making dua for my friend." His wife replied "I know what your up to!" "What's wrong with making such a dua?!" the husband asked. She replied "Don't think I'm stupid! Do you think I haven't heard the Hadith which says when you make dua for your Muslim brother there's an angel behind you…

IDAN KAI NE YA ZAKA YI?

Wani saurayi ne yaje hira wajen budurwasa sai yasameta tana kuka yarike hannayenta yajata jikinsa ya rungumeta yana rarrashinta yace mata meyake faruwa meke damunki? Batace komai ba taci gaba da kuka. Yace pls sweetheart ki gaya min me ya sameki? ta sanyaya murya tace darling inada crona virus....!๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ inkaine ya xakayi❓

DARIYA DOLE

DARIYA DOLE ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
Wani mutumin kauye ne, yaje birni, da ya tashi dawowa saiya sayo wa matarsa tsarabar madubi, don bata taba ganin kanta a madubiba. Tana dubawa saita ga fuskarta a ciki, sai ta yifushi tayi yaji. Da mamanta ta tambaye ta dalilin yin yaji saitace "Mijinta yayi mata kishiya a birni, ya kuma kawomata hotonta. Uwar tace mugani? Ta na duba madubin sai (ta gafuskarta a ciki) sai tace 'wannan tsohuwar banzan zai auro miki? Lallai dole kiyi yaji.'๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ Turama wasu* 
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

WA YA KASHE TSOHO?

WAYA KASHE TSOHO wata yarinyace tana xaune a cikin mota bus kusada ita akwai wani tsoho abinka ga yar xamani sai chat take tana murmushi shima tsohon sai leken wayar yake yana kallon abinda take rubutawa shima yana dariya ashe wan nan yarinyar ranta yabaci sai tayi rubutu kamar haka duk wata dukiya tawa aba mamata da babana domin ina cikin mota bus nanda minti daya bom zai tashi koda tsoho yaga abinda yarinya ta rubuta betsaya wata wata ba kawai yabude kofa yafado kasa akayi rashin sa a ya mutu TAMBAYA TSOHO SHENE YAKASHE KANSA KO KASHE SHI AKAYI

TA YI ABIN KUNYA

TAYI ABIN KUNYA
Wannan labari ya fito daga bakin wata amarya, tace:- Wata rana a wurin aiki ne na ci wake mai yawa fiye da kima. Da na koma gida sai mijina ya tarbe ni da murna, ya ce mani: “Abar kaunata, yau zan ba ki mamaki da daren nan, a wajen cin abinci.” Don haka sai ya samo kyalle mai duhu ya daure mani idanuwa, ya jagorance ni zuwa kan kujerar teburin cin abinci, ya zaunar da ni. MHar ya kama kyallen zai kwance mani ido, sai wayarsa ta kada. Sai ya ce bari ya tafi ya amsa wayar, idan ya dawo zai kwance mani daurin kyallen idona. Ina zaune sai cikina ya fara murdawa, domin kuwa waken da na ci ya bata mani ciki. A tsammanina, tun da mijina bai kusa da ni, sai na karkace kafa daya na burka tusa mai kara kuma mai dan karen wari. Na dauki hankici na fara fifita saboda warin ya kau da sauri, kafin mijina ya dawo. Cikin nawa ya sake rudewa, sai na saki jiki na burka tusa har sau uku kuma masu kara da wari, fiye da ta farko. Babu abin da nake sauraro sai muryar mijina daga nesa yana ta magana a waya. Ni kuw…

Cakwakiya

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜…Mukyakyata๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚      Wani dan fashine yaje super market zaiyi fashi zuwansa keda wuya. Saiya sami manager yasaka masa bindiga akansa yacewa ma,aikatanwajen sukawo masa kudi ko ya harbi manager sai managern yace karku bashi wlh bindigar wasace.sai barawon yace wlh bata wasabace sai managern yace to bani ingani saiyabashi sai managern yaga bata wasa bace saiya maidawa barawon bindigar sai yace kaikubashi wlh ta gaskece๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ  Shin waye hamago acikinsu   Kuyi share zuwa wasu group domin nishadi.......๐Ÿ‘…

ABIN DARIYA ABIN KUNYA

Abin dariya abin kunya   ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ  Wani saurayine yaje fira gidansu budurwarsa da daddare, suna cikin tadi kawai aka kirata a gida sai shima ya tashi xaije yadawo bai gaya mataba yawuce, kwatsam sai ga yayanta yadawo daga wajen aiki, yazauna agurinda saurayinta yatashi domin yasha iska kafin yashiga gida. kawai tana fitowa sai tazauna akan cinyarsa, tayimasa kissss๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿคญ sannan takamo hannunsa ta danna akan kirjinta๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ tace my sweet heart kaji yanda zuciyata take bugawa sbd syyrk.❤ tana daga kanta sai taga ashe yayantane ba sweet heart ba.๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚  idan kece ita yaza kiyi?  kuma idan kaine yayanta yaza kayi?๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜
  Just laugh as I laughed

CARRY OVER

CARRYOVER
Wani lecturer mai hannu daya yashiga lecture Hall don gabatar da Lecture akan Topic din ‘Karin-magana’ bayan ya gama karantar dasu nufin Karin-Magana.. Sai yace da Daliban idan an fahimta to kowa zai bada misalin karin magana guda daya,…nan take sai wata daliba ta daga Hannu, Lecturer yace ta fada: sai tace misali, hausawa na cewa “Hannu Daya Baya Daukar Jinkah”! Lecturer yayi Shiruuu ya dubeta yace Eh! Amma yana iya Bada ‘Carry over’ dan ubanki…..๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

ฦ˜AUNA TA GASKIYA

ALLAH SARKI KUN GA KAUNA TA GASKIYA 
Kanin mijintane yakawo masu ziyara ya iske ana gyran gidan saiyace antinmu lfy naga Ana gyara sai tace yayanku ne zai Kara aure tana maiwasa yace Kai dagaske tace ka tanbayi yayanku Yana fita saiyaje shagon yayanshi yake cewa Yaya ashe aure zaka Kara Sai yace wayafadama yace matarka Mana a mijin bayasan karyata matarshi saiyace ehhhh kanin yace Allah yasa alkhairi Yana tafiya sai mijin yay tunanin bai kamata ya karyata matarshi ba Kawai sai yakara aure gudun kar kanin yaraina Mai Mata
Kaji so na gaskiya Allah ya baku mazaje masu sanku kamar shi ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿฅบ

FULANI BA DAMA

Musha Dariya wani ba fulatani ne yakai saniyarsa kasuwa dan ya sayar yawuni ba'a siyaba da yadawo sai matarshi tace Ina kajene saiya gaya Mata yanda akayi saitace in sati yadawo kakoma kace tanada ciki haka kuwa akayi yana zuwa kasuwa yace tanada ciki nanda nan aka Saya akabashi kudi masu yawa dan fulani yace hakane ana nan sai akazo neman auren yarshi sai liman yace sadaki 10.000 dan fulani yace aa aramma akara saboda yarinya nan tana da ciki hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hmmmm

SABODA KUฦŠI

SABODA KUDI!Wata yarinya ce aka yi wa cikin shege, mahaifinta da mahaifiyarta suka kama dukanta suna cewa ta gaya musu wanda ya yi mata shi. Yarinyar ta ce wani mai kudi ne na shiyyarsu yayi mata shi. Da aka je aka kira mai kudin, aka tambaye shi, sai ya kyale su har sau uku, sannan ya ce: “Ni ne na yi mata. Idan ta haifi namiji zan ba babanta Naira miliyan 5, mahaifiyarta Naira miliyan 3, yarinyar kuma Naira miliyan 2. Idan kuma ta haifi mace, zan ba babanta Naira miliyan 3, innarta Naira miliyan 2, ita kuma yarinyar Naira miliyan 3” Ya ci gaba da cewa: “Idan kuma cikin ya zube…” Bai ida maganarsa ba sai baban yarinyar ya yi farat ya ce: “Sai ka sake yi mata wani cikin!”hhhhhh ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฉ

WHAT WILL YOU DO?

Okoro has been owing you *#40,000* since June last year and has refused to pay.
Yesterday you begged him to give you even if it is *#20,000* and forget the rest because of a situation you found yourself this season.
He said he has only about *#17,000* in his account and can only afford to send *#15,000* to you. 
As half bread is better than none, you had no option than to accept.
You woke up the next morning to see an alert of *#150,000k* with *36* missed calls from him because your phone is always on silent at night and several messages from him begging you to transfer *#135,000* back to him. He said he made a mistake, he wanted to send *#15,000k* and added one extra *0* instead.
Sincerely speaking what will you do?
I don laff tire ooo..๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ Copied from another group.
Please let us see our answers???
(someone sent this to me,Its just so funny so I decided to send it here)

KO KA SHEKARA BAKA YI DARIYA BA SAI KA YI YAU

KO KA SHEKARA BAKAYI DARIYA BA TO YANXUKA SHIRYA ZA KAYI KODA MURMUSHI NE.. DAN-GWARI DA 'YAN SANDA!!!----------- ' ''Wani Bagwari ne ya je kasuwayana aikin dako, sai rigima takaure; ’yan sandan kwantar datarzoma suka zo kasuwar sunatambayar mutane daya bayan daya. Suna cewa: “Kai wane ne, mene ne aikinka.” Kowa yana amsa tambayoyin daidai yaddaake bukata. Sai tambaya ta zo kandangwari, aka tambaye shi mece ce sana’arsa. Maimakon yaamsa da cewa yana sana’ar dako ne, sai ya ce: “Mu munadaukar kayanmutane ne.” Nan take ’yan sandan suka kama shi, suka suburbudeshi kadan suka saka shi a motarsu.